Programmer loose in the fanfiction world
by Makolik
Summary: This will be one of those blasted self-inserts. But whats this I'm not fighting eh who guessed. Well follow along as I mess with naruto's future. May go up in rating to T at the most. This is just an experiment criticism welcome. May continue if you like.
1. Chapter 1

Alright this is another naruto fanfic. Time to celebrate…. It will be a self-insert but not the kind you're thinking of. Nope not this time I will not be out there fighting, never was a fighter anyways. You'll just have to read to understand what kind it is. Alright not expecting much first time, but I'll give it a try. Leave me a review to see where I'm at.

Disclaimer: I do not own naruto in any form or fashion.

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A man was sitting at his computer typing away furiously. When suddenly shot up at a little noise. "I must be getting paranoid. If anyone finds out about this they would only laugh. But soon I'll be the one laughing." The man continued to type away furiously trying to finish his program. You see this sad little man though of creating a virtual existence where he would rain supreme.

"_Just little more and I'll have the perfect video game. Then I'll be rich Bwhahhaha_." Ok I admit I may have been a screw short. But hey you would too, trying to build (The perfect game) with no help. As I final finished my project I prepared to hit the enter key. 'O this was going to be sweat' I thought. When I pushed my computer crashed. With a blank face I prepared for it… Give it a sec… FUuuuuuuuuuuu'. I was unable to finish when a blinding light struck.

I awoke several minutes later to see a plain white room. 'Crap I knew aliens were real' I thought. I check myself to see if, well you know. Thankfully that did not happen. I was still wearing my faded blue jeans with white shoes and a blue t-shirt. 'O thanks god' I started to think about a mirror surprise one appeared in front of me. Yep still the same good lookin face long hair in a ponytail, yep still there. That's when I realized I made a mirror appear in front of me. So I decided to test my theory. As I thought of an old timey watch o you can guess what happened. A smile appeared on my face this was great I can make things. A smile spread across my face as I wondered what else I could do. So I visualized my home and low behold I was there. The room was slightly dark with its midnight blue wallpaper. A few stars and a wolf howling at the moon Ahh my room. But I notice the computer was fried as in steam was coming from the whole. At first I was angry until I remembered so I repaired my computer. I decided to take a walk at first no one seem to notice me. I was able to phase in and out of objects with ease. O this was going to be fun.

I started my way to the comic shop before I cause too much chaos. So I could get the latest manga. As I entered the shop I realized that the new naruto was out. 'O I wonder why should I read, if I can go there.' The thought brought a huge crap-eating grin to my face. So I focused on the naruto world.

The three gods were looking at a bunch of monitors. The female of the group shook her head. While the one that looked to be a demon with long white hair bellowed. "_Ho… How are their so many of them_." The youngest one with red hair simply shook his head as well. "_I do not understand how can there be so many self-inserts and fan fictions_." Kami decided to step away from the monitor revealing that she had long flowing blue hair. 'So it was not the glare from the monitors' I thought. She was wearing a white kimono with pink pedals.

She simply let out a breath. "_We have searched every universe and nothing. We cannot even stop them. It's almost like their gods amongst gods. Some of them are weak while others are using their full power_." Yama simply step up. "_I do not understand either_." This left the poor shinigami to his thoughts.

I decided to end this game for a little, at least until my fun starts. So I coughed in my hand drawing their attention to me. The shinigami was the first to speak. "_Who are you and how did you enter our domain_?" I simply looked at the shinigami with an amused smile. _"It's rather simple…."_ The shinigami got tired of waiting "_Well you going to tell us or not_?" I simply shook my head as I thought 'either I'm stupid or this theory should work.' "_I will when you lose the attitude_." The shinigami roared as he launched out an arm only for it to go through me and hit the wall. The shinigami pulled his hand back with a shocked look on his face he stuttered. "_Wha… How… where…_?" My amused smile turned into a knowing smirk.

Kami was the next to speak. "_I'm sorry for my brother actions, but it seems you have knowledge that we want_." I simple nodded my head. "_Will you share it with us_?" I struck a thinking pose before I nodded again. "_Well it's like this each of those fanfics were written or created by my species_." This got their attention. "_In fact you were created by one man who allows us to meddle with his universe_." Then Yama decided to interrupt. "_We were not created by some man_." I simple looked to him with a bored expression. "_O and how do you know? Not a one of you can touch me. So if you were to think then yes my species is a god amongst your gods_." This got kami to thinking as she raised her hand. A lightning bolt struck where I was standing only for nothing to happen to me. She nodded "_So your people are this powerful, why did we never know of you before_?" I looked back to her. "_Your world was created recently, at least by my time_." Shinigami decided to ask the question. "_Are you here to be some kind of super ninja, to take over naruto's life, or are you here to change the outcomes_?" I laughed a little shaking my head. "_No… No… Yes. You are right I'm here to change the outcomes. But not get involved I may know Muay Thai but I'm no fighter. I'm a lover plus I like my enemies to be ignorant of my presence_."

All three deities watched as I walked to the monitors. I looked them over and found what I was looking for. An untapped universe and naruto just finished beating mizuki. "_I'll take this one_." They looked at each other and shrugged. "_Sure_" was all that was said. O if they only saw the smile that would haunt everyone.

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So? Whatcha think? If you like it I'll keep it up if not it rots.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok here is another one. Hopefully I'll get better as I go along. You never get better unless you try right?

Thoughts

_Speech_

Hopefully that clears it up some.

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I appeared behind a building not too far from naruto. Before I could move I notice a blue window in my vision. I looked over it and noticed three different commands with an extra option. 'This should come in handy' I thought while closing the window. I walked around the building and notice it belonged to Teuchi. He was currently cooking some noodles for naruto. So I decided to see what the Einstein was up to.

Opening the window I took note that no one else could see it and I gave the command to give me money. 'Sweet I'm rich and I do not have to work for it'. So I took a few thousand dollars. I finally sat beside Naruto while he was eating, while I took in the place. 'Not bad for a third world restaurant'I thought. I looked around a little more and noted two people were speaking in a different language. I decided to give another command to my window and now they were speaking English. 'Bet you wish you had this power' I thought while looking at the audience.

While I waited for Naruto to finish, so I could aggravate the little guy I took time to look over the three commands again. They were cloak, invincibility, and stat reader. 'Stat reader really, I can't see anyone stat_._' that's when I heard the finally slurp so I went to introduce myself, only to end up scaring him half to death. "_How did you sneak up on me?"_ Screamed Naruto, I simply looked at him with a bored expression. "_I didn't I simply walked in and sat beside you."_ He blinked than smiled at me, which gave me the creeps, I'm not going lie. "_That's so cool you must be like some kind of super ninja."_ I looked back to the audience. 'Really he is that dumb**.**' I then looked back at Naruto smiling. "_Sure whatever you say, anyways my name is Makolik and you are?"_ I already knew what was coming so I prepared for it. "_I'm Naruto and I'm going to be the best Hokage ever."_ Naruto half yelled with a smile on his face. I laughed a little which drew a pout on his face. Man, that puppy eye no jutsu is no fun. "_Sorry but how about me and you have a little chat? I'll buy."_ I stated gaining a sharp yes and a smart remark. Teuchi said "_I would be careful he might eat you out of home."_ I simply smiled while pulling out my wad of cash gaining a huge smile on Naruto's face. I heard glass breaking but realized it was Teuchi's jaw hitting the ground.

After a nice little chat and getting naruto to agree to keep it a secret, I got him to agree to training which was not that difficult. He did think I was a super ninja after all. He got up to leave while Teuchi counted the dough he made off from me. I waved Naruto good bye as he went to meet up with his team. I was standing outside the stall when I notice it. I could see Naruto's stats and man were they low. I had my work cut out for me, that's when it clicks. "_I can see people's stats THIS IS ASWOME!"_ I said getting a tap on the back I turned around. 'Aw man old lady stats' I thought. She simply asked who I was talking to and I said no one. She then asked if I could help her and I agreed. So that was my time.

With Naruto he was happy today nothing could get him down. He gets to train with a super ninja and had a full belly of ramen. O his delicious ramen. Or that's what he would have thought till he found out he had a D rank mission today. O and the infernal screech of "_You're late!" _Coming from Sakrua, this even got Kakashi to wondering where he had been. While Sasuke was just to uchiha to care what naruto was doing?

I started to think that talking to Naruto was a bad idea as I looked at the audience. 'I mean he can keep a secret right. I mean I know he's stupid but he can keep a secret right?' While I was thinking I never notice Kakashi coming up behind me. "_Yo. You must be new._" I about jumped… about... I noticed Kakashi had his only eye squinting me. 'o this can't be good unless…' "_Yes I am new but you and your spies will never get my delicious secret._" That made Kakashi stops as he thought 'ok that's not right.' He prepared for a fight until he stopped to read a tube I pulled out. "_Chalk-o-cream?"_ I said. "_That's right my delicious secret will never be yours._" while running away laughing. This left a pale Kakashi behind saying only one thing. "_O….K_"

That's when I decided I need to find a command that will hide me better or give me pre-warning. If I do not who knows what could happen, I have not fully test my abilities with this new power. Especially since I only know that the three commands are constantly on. So it's going to take some program good thing I am a programmer.

* * *

Cloak allows me to move unfelt or heard. This is very useful.

Invincibility makes where even the kami's can't hurt me.

Stat reader, will you know.

Hope you liked it because I do not know where I'm at.


	3. Chapter 3

Ok this is a new one hopefully I am getting better, if not let me know what I need.

For today:

Thoughts

_Speech_

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Today was an odd day for me. I finished up two programs one that made me invisible and another that would allow me to locate people. The invisibility program I could cut on and off. The program on locations was constantly on. Between locating different people and playing ghost… Ahem… I was able to fully test everything. And I have to say, I enjoyed it. I got to see how the Hokage know about Naruto. And I am quite surprised by the beautiful ladies here. Oh that was in the little crystal ball too.

While after testing my location ability I found Naruto and followed behind using both Invisibility and cloak. Not even the great Kakashi knew that I was there. I enjoyed watching them work the garden. But it was silent… "_This sucks"_ Well somewhat silent. Naruto was currently cursing whoever invented D rank missions. While making different faces he even cut himself and caused another hail of curses. Man, I get to see more then when I saw the anime. While Naruto was cussing I decided to run over everyone's stats. Surprising to see there was a slight increase, especially since I learned that there was no defined number. In strength 1 meant 25 pounds, while in speed 1 meant 4.8 mph. I was surprised to find these facts in one of the windows. While I looked at

Sasuke I notice his stats were kind of low but higher than Naruto's.

With strength at 5, speed at 8, endurance was 4, and dexterity at 5. 'Hmmm… I thought his dexterity would be higher since he has skills with weapons. Maybe it includes cunning as well. I'll look further into it.'

I thought as I checked Sakura's and man did I get a surprise.

Strength 2, speed 2, endurance 1, dexterity 9. 'Ok that's pathetic.'

I checked Naruto's one last time.

Strength 4, speed 4, endurance 9, and dexterity 5.'Ok now Naruto's dexterity is even with Sasuke's. Now I wonder if it does include cunning. Naruto may be stupid at times, but he is cunning.'

But what caught me was Kakashi's, which was

strength 39, speed 59, endurance 31, dexterity 76. 'No wonder they did not stand a chance with that kind of stat.' I started to think whether I should hack my stats or not. I will have to devise a program to allow me to tree and water walk if I want to keep Naruto's interest. While I was thinking I never notice them leave to turn in their work.

With Naruto, "_I hate D rank missions why can't we at least save a princess." _Naruto said. "_Don't be an idiot Naruto."_ Three guess who huh? Kakashi just enjoyed the bantering back and forth. Until they, arrived at the Hokage tower. Kakashi just eye smiled at them when he spoke. "_Now you three run along I'll turn in our work."_ He heard a scoff of "our" in the background, which only made him grin. When he walked of Sasuke was the first to turn around and walk away. Sakura was following pestering him for a date. This left poor Naruto alone who was… smiling like an idiot. 'Now was it training ground 54 or 45?' Which was Naruto's thought as he started walking towards the training grounds.

Training ground 54 no one was around unless you included me. No one ever used this training ground because of how far away it was. I was busy finishing up the final program to tree and water walk when I wanted to. 'This should keep him busy.' I thought as I looked at the audience. I finally notice naruto looking around trying to find me so I decided to scare h… I mean show off my super ninja skills as he called them. So I walked up beside him removed the invisibility. Only thing I got was a scream and a few kunai to phase through my head. "_That was so cool. You have to show me you have to."_ Naruto started saying rapidly, I held up my hand for him to stop. "_In due time Naruto in due time. Now you have to promise that whatever I show you will not be used unless your life depends on it."_ Naruto looked at me quizzically before nodding and say really fast. "_I promise just show me."_ I smiled oh how he was going to hate me.

I walked over to a tree and started to walk up it until I reached the top. Naruto was now under me gaping. "_The trick is to evenly disrupt your charka then slowly walk up it. If you master this I will show you one jutsu. For each skill you master and the difficulty of it I will teach you one jutsu and the stronger they will be."_ Now like I said Naruto may be stupid at times, but for some reason he understood that. Naruto was now trying to walk up the tree failing miserable, but doing better than he was. It brought a smile to my face, now to work on a better summoning for when he graduates my training course. That brought a bigger smile to my face and another quizzical stare. "_Son of…."_ Yep this was going to be fun for me at least.

A tired and worn out naruto was currently dragging his self-back home. Despite his condition he was smiling finally, he got some actual training. He was too tired to care about the writing on the walls or mess on the floor. No he just plopped himself on his bed. He laid there smiling as he went to sleep never knowing I was currently on his roof. I was typing away furiously to finish the new summoning animals. 'I'll make the best and strongest summoning ever bwhahaha.' I look at the audience. 'What you would to, do not give me that look. Anyways Naruto needs a better place wouldn't you agree. Oh boy I like my next idea.' I said with a creepy smile.

* * *

Strength is 1=25pounds

Speed is 1=4.8mph

Endurance is the measurement of charka and how long they last.

Dexterity is the measurement of cunning and skills.

New abilities invisibility, tracker, and walking on anything even air.

I will upload stories as fast as I can. But only when I have the time. Between college and everything I only have so much. So if it pops up fast thats because I only have that opening.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry if anyone actually reading this. I had to do a 2,500 report on Leonardo da Vinci. In reality I hate writing because I get to see my horrible grammer in action. When I finsihed I was in a fetal postion, but enough about me here is the story for those who liked it.

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Naruto showed up for training the next day. He started the tree walking exercise since he was unable to finish it last time. As I set back and continued my work on the program for the summons, yes it really is that huge of a file. He was actually getting higher up the tree faster than when he did it for that one mission. "_Naruto when you complete that come here a minute will you."_ Naruto fell face first, when pulled himself up he gave me a glare. I'll give to him he was nearly done. "_Fine_."Was his only reply, I wondered what was eating him. But I finally heard a triumph yell. Naruto ran as fast as he could and stop on a dime near me. Spraying dust all over me, all I did was stare at him waiting. "_You're going to show me the cool jutsu now huh?"_ I simply smiled.

"_Actually I'm going to talk about that Naruto." _This elected a stare from him. "_I'm going to tell you the secret about your shadow clone."_ He craned his head before yelling. "_But you promise you would show me a new jutsu."_ I smiled again gaining his full attention. "_I did so it is. Naruto you only know a little bit about that jutsu. Would you like to know all its ultra-cool secrets?" _This made him sit down, as he tried to concentrate on what I had to say. "_You know that the technique splits your chakra evenly what you do not know."_ He squinted and leaned in. "_Is that anything you clones experience can be shared with you. Meaning if a clone reads a book then dispenses you would remember it. See everything other than physical can be shared with you understand." _Surprisingly he nodded his head. "_So are you going to teach me a new jutsu?"_ Ugh never mind. "_Naruto that was the new jutsu now, I want you to create ten shadow clones. Then follow me."_

I walked over to the small pond and started walking across the water. When I was half way across I turned around, and noted naruto was staring. "_Now the trick to this is the same as the tree. However thanks to your shadow clones you should master it faster." _Naruto nodded dumbly at that. So this is where we are Naruto practicing water walking. Though watching him fail was the fun part. Every time one of Naruto's shadow clones popped a new one was made. I was actually impressed at how fast he was mastering the water walking. I guess giving him that advice was a plus after all. When Naruto finished and a few choice words had been used. He walked over to me mumbling something, but I could care less. As I looked at his uniform I noted the kill me orange had faded some. Along with a few tears and wears from training. It had already started getting late when he mastered it. So I decided to make him a new uniform. So knowing the love he had for orange I decided on something nice. So I made a few sets that appealed to my liking and his. The design was simple the only orange ran from the neckline down to his sides and was dark shade. The t-shirt was a navy blue, while the pants were black continuing the line of orange down the seams of the pants. I decided to add the uzumaki symbol to the back and making it a dark red. "Maybe I should be a fashion designer… No would not work with the ladies." Naruto was currently enjoying his new attire that seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"_Now naruto I will give you this scroll on the new jutsu. I want you to practice when you're not training with me. The jutsu is known as great breakthrough. So enjoy."_ Naruto squealed in joy when he received the scroll. As he picked up the uniform and started home I stopped him. "_I have a seal I want to put on you. It is a weight seal so that you can keep training even after we are through here."_ Naruto looked at me with a judgmental edge. It kind of creep me out a little bit. Because I've never seen that look on his face before, so this was kind of new. "_Sure why not. So far everything you've done for me has helped."_ I was relieved to hear that thinking he may have caught on to my little plan. So he came over and sat down with his legs crossed. "_Now naruto remove you shirt."_ Ok maybe I should have explained first, because the stare I got screamed pervert. I'm not that sick am I, Stares at audience. As naruto removed his shirt I place the seal which was of my own design. Thank you programming skills, because each limb would weigh near a hundred pounds when I finished. Poor naruto had no idea what was in store, especially when I finished and he fell backwards unable to move. "_Now Naruto all you have to do is use the ram seal to deactivate or reactivate this. But you better not remove it till I tell you or if it a meaning of life and death." _Naruto struggled a little bit and cursed me a few times. Nothing major at least I thought so. I laugh as Naruto struggled his way back to his home.

The next day Naruto was moving a little better. But the stares he was getting, especially from his team over his uniform change was new. "_What's with the stupid uniform dobe?"_ Naruto got irked when he heard Sasuke. "_It's not stupid and I got it from super ninja." _Naruto made motion like he was trying to catch the word before clapping his hands over his mouth. But it was too late. Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "_Super ninja? Who's that Naruto?" _Naruto just shook his head as said. "_Nobody… Ya Nobody just something I read about."_ Amazing how that changed the subject as everyone seemed to freeze and stare. While I was currently busting my head against the wall to see if, I would win. "_You actually read dobe?"_ Naruto was again irked as he screamed. "_Ya I read what do you care teme?"_ Naruto had saved the day with that. But I knew I had to meet the Hokage thanks to his slip up.

When Naruto got his D rank mission there were plenty of colorful words. Yep he had trash detail today. I waited in the office as they left. While Sarutobi got out the crystal ball. Surprise instant porn, He was watching the bathing house full of ladies. As I mimic his perverted grin. I decided it was time for business. As I slowly lifted the invisible the first thing I notice was the kuni at my neck. The second was the old-man still had his eye on the crystal ball. "_I was wondering when you would show up."_ Currently I was making brown stains in my pants. But stopped when I realized he still could not hurt me. "_Just so I know, feel like spilling the secrets?"_ The geezer turned to stare at me for a second. Even though I was invincible I could still hear that ghost whisper out my hole. "And just so the audience knows, no no you do not want know which hole." The aging Hokage stood up somehow removing his robes and never dropping the kuni. "_You have some kind of interest in Naruto and I'm going to find out why, even if I have to kill you."_ Currently I was smiling like choji in a free candy store. The Hokage raised an eyebrow at this till he heard what was said. "_But you can't bring yourself to do it."_ Right now there is kuni vibrating on the wall behind me, it's original destination my chest. I looked at the kuni then back to the old man. "_Told you cannot bring yourself to do it, but let's skip the fight and talk this over with a…" _Now why did I stop well I was currently buried under a ton of mud or… at least I hope it was mud. As I popped out I looked at the audience. "Why does everyone else get to have a nice chat with him, why not me?" The Hokage was studying me waiting for his anbu to arrive and help.

* * *

Want to know happens next well you'll have to wait then read.

Announcer: "In one corner standing in at 5'3 and weighing around 111 lbs. Is none other than THE PROFFERSER SARUTOBI HIRUZEN!"

"And in the next corner standing in at 5'5 and weighing 124 lbs. Is a man with no name the… the… O who cares."

Makolik: "Ya up yours too."


End file.
